Ah, yes, the ever popular subject of my relationship... It seems like it's always on my mind these days. Luckily, all the thinking about it payed off. hehe, I know, kind of hard to believe, right? But, it's true. I've finally come to a decision. Here goes nothing...
I don't consider us going out anymore. I haven't talked to him in a week or so, and I don't plan on talking to him. If something comes up, with another guy... If I end up falling for someone else, I'm not going to stop myself from doing anything. Nick's not acting like a boyfriend, so there's no point in me acting like a girlfriend. The next time I see him, which will be, more than likely, not for another week, I'm not going to talk to him. If I do, it will be a few, short words. I'll be civil, but not extremely polite. I'll make it obvious that we're not going out anymore. For once, I don't need words to convey exactly how I'm feeling to him. My attitude about this is pretty much.. "Fuck it." This is never going to turn into anything more than it is at this moment; a horrible failure. I don't know what went wrong, and I don't care. It doesn't matter what went wrong, it doesn't matter who's at fault. What matters is that I'm tired of this, tired of being stuck in one place, tired of knowing that this will never go anywhere. I'm just tired of wasting my time. -shrug- If he calls me, before I see him in person... Not only will it be a surprise, it will be an unwelcome surprise. I don't harbor any grudges; I'm not angry. I'd be really happy if we could still be good friends; I'm sure he can agree to that. I just... don't really want to talk to him, at this point. I especially don't feel like talking about trivial, inane things. If he calls... I'm not going to try to hide what I'm feeling anymore. I'll make my discontent obvious, bring it right out in the open. Ugh. Whatever.
-sighs- Yeah, I guess that's all for now. You can expect another entry soon; I'm going to try to write something about this, something besides a simple Diaryland entry. If I come up with anything, I'll post it here.