I've decided that my "diary" needs a new layout. The one I have is lovely, and very... me, in a way, but I've had it for a really long time. Change is a good thing. Hopefully updating my diary will renew my interest in updating -in- my diary on a regular basis. I'm stuck between several options. There's one that I really like, with a girl that looks similar to the one on my current layout. It would be cool if I could continue with similar styles of layouts, but... -shrug- We'll see how it ends up. I found an extremely sexxy layout, with a woman in lingerie. The only drawback about it is that there isn't much room. There's just a small textbox for your entries. When I do get the chance to write, I tend to write a lot. But, I'm sure it would work out fine. The third option I'm considering is a dark layout, titled, "The Sensual World." It's really pretty, and quite sexy in a quiet, subtle way. Another layout I'm thinking about using is titled, "Despair: Don't Forsake Me." It's very gloomy, and mobid. It's beautiful, but I'm not sure how well it suits me, and my life at the moment. The final layout I'm considering is autumn themed, and very beautiful. The only drawback is that it isn't autumn yet. I may settle on one of the others for now, and use the autumn layout in a few months. I'm going to look over them all again, and probably end up making my final decision tommorow.
I wanted to say a few things about Colorado. The trip- and most of the people on it- were truly awesome. It was a really great experience, one that I plan on having again next year. It really did make me feel good about myself, helping people who didn't have the means to help themselves. The sheep! There were about... 2200 head of sheep on the road one day, as we were going to our worksite. Being Texas natives, Lauren and I were more annoyed than fascinated. After all, livestock in the road is a normal occurence in Texas. Most of the time, the animals belong to your neighbors, and you have to be polite and herd them back into their proper pasture. But, the people from up North were absolutely fascinated by the sheep. They got out their freaking video cameras, and were taping them. They even narrated. "There are sheep on the road. Watch them walk across the street. Listen to them 'baaa'" It was hilarious. On another funny note, I ended up becoming really good friends with this awesome gay guy named Zach. He's so sweet! =D -sighs exasperatedly- I also attracted another stalker. Troy isn't quite as creepy as some of my other stalkers have been, though. I just think that anyone who would want to stalk -me- is completely insane. At least he's not on drugs, like Chris... There was one good thing, about meeting him, though. We danced under the stars. He knew how to swing dance! It would have been really romantic, if I would have been interested in him in that way. Mr. Boeker is -not- a lard ass! LMAO! Lauren is really bad with names. I mean, really, Colton and Andy look nothing alike. Alyssa and Erica -did- resemble each other, though. I don't see how you got "Devon" out of "David." hehe... He was -John Michael-, not just John, or just Michael. -giggles- Tyler was FiretrUCKING hott! Mmm.. Yummy. LOL! Don't eat your pillow, Lauren! It's not a proper source of nutrition! Hannah told us the make out story! Man, those preps are messed up. Michellevis is the best! hehe, I love her! -pets Mauri- She's gorgeous, and she's been through so much shit in her life. Poor thing... I hope everything worked out for her. That last night was seriously intense, though. To make -many- long stories short... WORKCAMP '04 ROCKED! hehe, I had fun.
I'm worried. That's all I'm going to say about that. I just need to relax, calm down. Nothing bad is going to happen.
I'm having doubts about my relationship with Nick. Ugh. Not good. This has been on my mind for... days, now. In fact, I almost can't get it off of my mind. It's starting to get annoying. JP gave me some really good advice on it, that I think I might follow. I should probably explain the situation, so that if I ever decide to look back and re-read these entries, I'll know exactly what was going on, and won't be confused.
Here's the deal. I just... don't like Nick as much as I thought I did. Our relationship isn't -going- anywhere. I mean, it's not that I'm in a hurry for it to get somewhere, but it seems like we've regressed, rather than progressed. Just the thought of staying in this relationship, stuck at the point that we're at right now, is... extremely unpleasant. I want to start the school year single. hehe... You know, I want to have my options open. I get the distinct feeling that we're just being... complacent, if that makes sense. We're just staying in this relationship because we have no one else worth romantically pursuing at the moment. I hate that. That's a stupid reason to stay in a relationship that I'm not even happy in. I don't like him nearly as much as I thought I did. I have no idea how he feels about me. I need to talk to him, but he rarely calls, and when he does, I don't know where to begin. I'm exasperated with the whole situation. Arg. I don't like this at all. I feel like I'm wasting my time on something that's never going to live up to my expectations. Yeah, I need to talk to him...
There's still a month and a half before school starts. Part of me almost wishes it would start tommorow. I mean, I'm enjoying the summer, but I'm really looking forward to starting a new year, in a new school. I'm very optimistic and enthusiastic about all of this. New opportunities are going to present themselves this year, I know it. I want to take full advantage of my eagerness. This year, I'm really going to focus on schoolwork. I mean, of course, there's going to be boys, and friends to think about, but I'm going to devote a reasonable amount of time to my studies. Getting good grades is really important to me. I have to have awesome grades if I want to get into medical school. I figure that now is the perfect time to start really concentrating on academics, as well as my social life. It's going to be somewhat dificult to manage all the things I want to be involved in. I'll be busy with band, academics, drama, and debate, not to mention friends and a boyfriend((hopefully)). I want to do really well in all of my classes this year, especially Math, English, and French. Oooh, and Theatre Arts. I want to work on the technical aspects of our musical production; I'm practically an expert at working the light board after being the lights manager for "The Crucible." I want to have a main role in the one act play. I love acting; I have a passion for it that makes me long to be in the spotlight, on stage, doing what I love. -growls- Lauren got the lead role in "The Crucible." I would have gotten a role, if I would have been in Theatre Arts that semster. This year, however, I plan on showing everyone that I -can- act, everyone in the entire school. I really want a lead role in -something-, and I know I have the skill to achieve that. I have so many goals...
Well, I guess that's it for now. I'm going to go back to pondering my choice of new layouts. Another entry soon, probably, with my updated, top three layout choices. I'll choose from the final three tommorow, and update then.