So much has been going on the past few days, and I've been far too busy to write at Diaryland. So, here I am, wishing I was sleep, typing out all of the events that have taken place over the last... week or so. Starting with, well, the most important thing I can remember. ;)
The other day... 2 days ago, maybe... I was really depressed. I have very little idea why. -shrug- It wasn't really something that could be defined, it was more of just... something that was there. I was feel extremely worthless, and pretty inadequate. Most of all, I was feeling imperfect. Ugh. Not cool. Anyway, at lunch, he was asking me what was wrong. I, of course, told him it was nothing. So, he kind of shrugged it off, I guess. I must have looked truly depressed in 7th period, becauase, he made another comment about it. None of my other friends commented on it, or tried to cheer me up. Lauren was absent, otherwise I'm sure she would have done her part. But... He started asking me what was wrong. I, of course, told him that nothing was wrong. He kept asking me if I was sure- positive- nothing was up. I always replied with a hesitant, "yes." He started poking me, and tickling me, and.. yeah. So did -Collin.- Eww. hehe. I couldn't stay depressed with them poking me. I was too grossed out by Collin to stay depressed! Lmao. Later, after the bell rang, I was walking to the band hall with him. I told him he was mean, for trying to tickle me, and for letting Collin touch me. He said, "Yeah, well, you just seemed really depressed, and it was bugging me. I don't know why, but it was. I was only poking you and tickling you because it made you smile." That was an odd comment. I tried to figure that out for a long time. -shrug- Moving on.
Today, we had our recognition ceremony. There were a few special awards to be given out, for Outstanding Boy, Outstanding Girl, and one for Most Proficient History Student. -shrug- Don't ask me. I knew Lauren was going to get some kind of an award. And she did. She got the History award. I was happy for her, I truly was. But... I feel so horrible, so weak... I almost cried. Seriously. I was nearly in tears, simply because I felt so horribly inadequate. Nothing I did was good enough. I know, it was a stupid award, but, still. It symbolized something more for me. It made me feel like I will never be the best at -anything-. Envy rears its ugly head. At that moment, I was so jealous of Lauren. I got over it; I did not cry. I promised myself I would never cry at school, and I won't. But, onto better things.
I went over to Lauren's house, to get ready for the dance. It was -hilarious-. I was on such a role! Man, the Collin jokes were all over the place. I remember a few that were really, really hilarious, but they're the kind of jokes that you kind of had to be there for. Okay, so, Lauren busted out laughing all of a sudden, for no reason. I kept asking her what was so funny, and she couldn't say it. Finally, she managed to get it out. "You're a colonist! Because you like... Collin!" Naturally, I don't like Collin. But, her joke prompted a joke of my own. I started laughing, and finally was able to breathe enough to say, "You're going to marry Collin and live together in a nudist colony!" I laughed until tears came to my eyes. Later on, Erica was calling someone, and Lauren asked, "Who you calling?" But, when she said it, it sounded like, "Who you Collin?" We both busted out laughing. So, being the comedian that I am, I yelled, "I'm calling Lauren's husband!" Which, of course, sounded like, "I'm Collin, Lauren's husband!" -giggles- Okay, so, you kinda had to be there. But it was hilarious, I promise. =D That was awesome. Now, moving on to the actual dance.
Lauren and I got ready, and, I must say, we looked gorgeous. Breathtaking. As Lauren put it so well, "Collin probably had to hold on to his pimples." hehe... We're horrible. But, we got there, and there was no one on the dance floor. So, we waited, and, the next song that came on was, "A Thing Called Love," by The Darkness. That has become Lauren and I's song. So, we get out on the dance floor, start singing at the top of our lungs, and dancing. -giggles- People actually started singing and dancing with us. Pretty funny. The first slow song, I danced with Michael, and Lauren danced with Richard. She danced with Richard 3 times, each time getting more creeped out by him. We slow danced with each other a lot, simply so that no one.. -coughcollincough- could ask us to dance. The fast dances were awesome. Dude... Lauren can dance. That's all I'm going to say. She was dancing.. like, seriously dancing, with Nick. It was kind of funny to watch. We danced during almost all of the fast songs. It was really fun. One of my favorites was "Naughty Girl," by Beyonce, because of the amazing vocals performed by Lauren and myself. -giggles- Towards the end of the dance, a slow song came on. Lauren and I started dancing together, because no one else asked us, and we didn't want to risk getting an offer from... someone who will remain unmentioned. Though I'm sure you can guess, if you've been paying attention at all. ;) Anyway, I was dancing with Lauren, and Heather was dancing with Nick, right beside us. So, we danced for that whole song, and then it ended. Another slow song started, and Lauren and I were just going to keep dancing with each other. Nick suddenly said, "Hey, do you two want to dance for a minute?" I thought he was talking about Lauren and Heather; I thought he wanted to dance with me. I was like.. "Huh?" So, he gestured to Heather and I, and asked, "Do you two want to -talk- right now?" Obviously, he wanted to dance with Lauren, so I happily switched partners with him. I was kind of wondering, but, I didn't say anything. Heather and I had a nice conversation, and, then the song ended. Lauren and Nick kept dancing. I went and sat down. That song ended, and another started. Lauren and Nick kept dancing. I expected to feel a stab of jealousy; I know myself well. Oddly enough, I didn't. I sat there, watching the two of them, completely absorbed in each other, and I was genuinely happy. Kinda cool, in an odd way. Then, suddenly, it was the last song of the dance. I wasn't really paying attention; I figured Lauren would have a partner, and I thought he would have one as well. I didn't expect anyone to ask me, and I almost tried to hide from... people that might possibly want to ask me. But, while I was looking for... ahem, people, he walked up to me, and said my name, to get my attention. I looked at him, and he said, "Come on." I was kind of confused, so I got up, and started following him to the dance floor. I thought that Lauren wanted to dance with me, so, I was like, okay, whatever. When we got onto the dance floor, he asked me if I would like to dance. My reply, of course, was yes. I don't think I turned down anyone... Except... -shudders- You know who. We were dancing, everything was going well... 20 or 30 seconds into the song, they turned on the lights. The D.J. said they had to cut it short. It was kind of funny, but, I was somewhat disappointed. I'm sure there will be other opportunities, though... Maybe... Possibly... Eh, I dunno, whatever.
Tommorow I will elaborate on the other points of the dance, as well as go into detail about Lauren's.. interesting conversation with Nick. hehe... Another entry soon.